With my boys
With my boys

By now you can probably see – or more likely hear since they aren’t exactly quiet – that I have two boys. Yes, boys. Other than me and a spunky little dog, there are no girls in our family. This is not necessarily the way that I pictured our family looking (I’ll admit, I imagined hair bows and twirly skirts), but alas, this is the family that I have. And I LOVE it. I LOVE THEM.

I do not, however, love some of the comments that are said to or about my sons. Let me start by saying that I understand that many of your comments are innocent and well-intentioned. Like when you ask us if we are trying for a girl. (No, we’re pretty happy with the children that we have.) Or when you presume that because we have boys we don’t deal with drama or sensitivity. (Believe me, there is plenty of eye rolling and door slamming, dramatic tears and rage-filled outbursts, around here.)

I also understand that many of the things we hear are small talk, chit-chatty things, like when you ask my son what sports he’s interested in. Some things might even be meant as a compliment, like when you say, “Wow, you sure have your hands full!” (Sigh, I really do have my hands full – in the best possible way.)

I won’t get into all of the other comments that sometimes rub me the wrong way. Admittedly, I have been known to be a bit oversensitive at times. And the comments are nothing new, either; there are countless what-not-to-say lists out there. So instead of focusing on what not to say, let’s talk about what we can say, shall we?

Read the rest of this post over at Scary Mommy.



  1. I understand your perspective, Christine. I faced the same comments when people discover my daughter is our only. The questions, although probably a well-intentioned attempt to make a small talk, do not land well. I do not feel the need to talk about my personal decisions to strangers or acquaintances.

    • Christie

      Exactly! I used to get so offended by lots of the comments, but realize that everyone experiences this is some way or another. I’m trying to give people the benefit of the doubt when they put their foot in their mouth – Lord knows, I’ve put my own foot in my mouth on many occasions!

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